


Waiting by the Door: Pilgrimage Remix

by rhye



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhye/pseuds/rhye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius waits for Remus. Remus comes on Halloween. Angst and Hurt/Comfort. OotP-era.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting by the Door: Pilgrimage Remix

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dogsunderfoot (dragondi)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragondi/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Waiting by the Door](https://archiveofourown.org/works/305541) by [rhye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhye/pseuds/rhye). 



Sirius watched the graining in the wood, the inside of the door in his mother's room. He'd chosen this room because it was out of the way. No one might accidentally think to speak to him while walking by. Anyone who came here had set out for this place; he was the end-point of a pilgrimage.

He sat just inside the door, the same stance he'd grown accustom to from a cell: on his arse, arms around his knees, rocking slightly backwards, watching the door expectantly. Two weeks, every free moment not occupied with meals or Order Meetings found him here: waiting for Remus Lupin. Nevertheless, Remus never showed.

Sirius believed that he was a pilgrimage Remus did not intend to make.

Sirius believed wrong.

Or perhaps Remus had not intended this particular interview, but no accidental wandering through the house could have brought him to such a high and distant room as was Sirius's mothers. Sirius heard the knock and knew immediately whose it was: a familiar rhythm devised in boyhood. Many of their own personal rhythms had been formed around each other in school days. They did not made neither complete sense nor complete nonsense apart: half a song.

Sirius knew the date. Harry was at school, partaking of a feast and hopefully not feeling even a tenth of how Sirius himself was feeling.

Weeks of waiting, and Sirius did not answer the door. Remus entered anyway. He walked around the room in silence, testing floorboards with grunts when they groaned and a laugh at one particularly amusing squeal.

Weeks of waiting, and Sirius found himself fighting frustration and anger. He only wanted to be alone.

Remus sat down beside him, slowly prying Sirius's hand from its protective self-embrace to clutch it in his own. Ten cold fingers danced awkwardly before remembering their rhythm.

"Strange," Remus began, "How I never miss them less, even with the cushion of time."

"Last Halloween--"

Remus laughed by way of interruption. "Last Halloween I was hunting you all over Hogwarts Castle and praying to all the deities that ever had been that I would not find you."

"I'm glad you're here. Today, I mean. Not on a mission."

"I'm meant to be," Remus answered. Together, they stared for a while at the back of the door before Remus continued. "I told Dumbledore no, for once."

Sirius felt his rising humour sink again. He was weak, his friends worried for him, they canceled their plans to watch over him.

"I didn't want to be alone," Remus admitted, "Least of all in some horrific place, in the company of Death Eaters."

Sirius shivered.

"I know..." Remus inhaled deeply and blew out a breath, gathering audible courage to Sirius' ears. "I know you want to be left alone, but please let me sit here a while."

"I don't want to be left alone," Sirius answered stiffly. "I never wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to be needed. Not for my house or my advice or my-- just for someone--" Sirius cut off, unsure anymore where he was going.

Remus's hand tightened on Sirius's. Remus tilted his head to peer at Sirius, causing Sirius to finally break his staring match with the door. Quietly, with undercurrents of grief, regret, understanding, and loneliness, Remus whispered,

"Happy Halloween."


End file.
